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The thoughts and musings of Tobias Finn
About Me
- Tobias
- This is an in-character blog for the PBeM Aberrant game Project Hestia.
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1 comment:
I've been thinking a lot about our last meeting, and wanted to say something.
While we were on the transit, some of us decided to talk about the sensationalistic way the media portrays novas. I understand that you did not consider such a discussion germane to the task at hand, and you said as much.
But when I asked you if there was something you'd rather talk about, you remarked, "No, not with you," which I experienced as snide. In reply I said something like, "Then let the grown-ups talk," which in retrospect I agree was patronizing. I apologize.
Later that day, you called me a "dick." This hurt my feelings, as I've devoted my life to helping others and I do my best to treat people decently. (I wanted to help you with your whale problem, and I'm sincerely sorry that I was not equipped to do so.)
When I objected to your name-calling the first time, you suggested that I needed to be less sensitive. I actually pride myself on my sensitivity, as it's one of the things that makes me an effective healer and caregiver. I wish I could share some of this sensitivity with you, as I'm willing to wager that I'm not the only person you've managed to offend.
Granted, I don't know you very well, so I've been studying your blog for clues as to who you are. From what I can tell, it appears that you expect to be hurt or taken advantage of by others, and you've taken steps to pre-emptively defend yourself from these attacks.
Although I'm troubled by what appears to be a quickness to judge and insult people you barely know, I was particularly struck by the line, "The nice thing about living in the ocean is that I don't get a lot of visitors." Perhaps it is my hypersensitivity at work again, but this made me very sad. You are so young, and yet so cynical. Who hurt or betrayed you so intensely that you see isolation as a blessing?
I appreciate what it means to feel closer and more connected to animals than people. I understand that you may enjoy being in the company of fish - they are no doubt easier to deal with than people and all their bullshit - but you are not a fish, Tobias. As difficult as it may be, I think it would be good for you to spend more time around people.
Perhaps you spend so much time in the depths that a part of you forgets that you cannot deal with people the way you deal with fish. You might be pleasantly surprised by the results of treating others with a greater measure of warmth and respect than you are used to.
Maintaining social connections with other people is essential to our well-being. I truly hope you find a "place to belong," but in the meantime I'd like to renew my offer to spend time together.
I won't be offended if you decline, but the offer's out there. Take care.
-Ben
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